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You know, there was a time when all I wanted was a clean toilet. Funny, isn't it? How my dreams used to be so small and puny. Little itty bitty dream. Cute but laughable. The Accelerator took that dream and stuck an air hose in it, blowing it up to amazing levels. No, not a larger toilet (but wouldn't that be something), but making me want more for myself. But dreams are a two-edged sword. On the one hand, yes, I found that I wanted more out of life. But on the other hand... it's hard to want more when you can't obtain more. The GCWA was a disaster for me, plain and simple. I had thoughts of me standing up there where men like Derek Mobley and Draco and Tommy Crimson have stood. Me, the GCWA World Heavyweight Champion. And yet, I never got over that first step of being a winner. I could never find a way to shed my Janitor-esque image and turn things around. And then... Ace fired me. He threw me out the door without even a severance package, after I cleaned up his messes for so long! (And believe you me, you can't conceive of some of the messes that man left. Yikes.) So I decided to head over to a company that might appreciate me more. The CWF. And what did I do? I promptly won myself a championship. That's right, bitches, Peter Vaughn was CWF Paramount Champion! I mean, sure, some people said it was a fluke... and an asshole who didn't even know how to clean a toilet won it away from me in a rigged Triple Threat match... but I was still a champion! No one can take that away from me! But life, well, life hasn't been as good since that day. So when I heard about a Hardcore Invitational, and that anyone who had been anyone could join up... I signed myself over for one... more... match... The dream's not dead. It's still got a chance. (Not the toilet dream... the dream of being a GCWA champ... I mean, the toilet dream's just... silly...)
*The picture opens on a shot of a seagull, soaring through the air. The wind keeps it aloft, even as it doesn't seem to go anywhere. It's waiting patiently, continuing to stay in 'flight' as it watches ahead of it. The camera slowly zooms back, showing a man sitting on a park bench. He's munching on a Whataburger and fries, as he relaxes in the heavy breeze. The head comes up, showing us Peter "The Janitor" Vaughn. He continues eating, not realizing what's watching him until the seagull lets loose a small "caw". He turns, confused.* Peter Vaughn: Huh? Oh, hey there... hungry, little guy? *The bird doesn't say anything. What, you think this is an Arachne out-of-his-mind picture? Animals don't talk... except for Mr. Ed. But we're not talking about him.* Peter Vaughn: Here you go, fella. Have a fry on me. *Vaughn throws the fry high in the air. With aerobatic precision, the seagull darts up and catches the fry, quickly consuming it. Of course, he then flies back into position behind Vaughn, watching him again. Vaughn shakes his head and turns back to the camera.* Peter Vaughn: They're never satisfied, are they? They always want more. Isn't that always the way? People can never be happy with what they have already gotten. Take, for example, a number of my competitors in the Harvey Danger Hardcore Title Invitational. *Vaughn faces the camera, smiling, not realizing that a second bird has now joined the first. The signal has apparently gone out that we've got a feeder present!* Peter Vaughn: We have a guy like Dangerous Dan. True, good fella, I like him a lot. But he's been the World Tag-Team Champion three times, and he's won the Television Title a few times. He's done a lot in the GCWA. So why is he in this match? What does he have to prove? Nothing. He just wants more gold. *A third seagull appears, landing and walking near Vaughn, who doesn't spot him. Then a fourth lands next to him. Vaughn is oblivous, thinking about the upcoming match.* Peter Vaughn: Marcus Ka'Derrion, of all people, is returning to the wrestling ring. Why? He's been the GCWA World Heavyweight Champion! Twice!! He's been one of the greatest, and I, personally, think he's a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame! So why risk his neck coming back to be in a hardcore battle, other than because the greed is too much to resist? *The army is still growing behind Vaughn, who absentmindedly pulls out a fry from the box. He goes to bring it to his mouth, even as a seagull swoops down and plunks it from his fingers. Vaughn doesn't see it, instead almost biting his own finger before realizing the fry is gone. He looks down, thrown off for a second, but then shrugs his shoulders and grabs another one.* Peter Vaughn: How about Harvey Danger himself? He's got the Danger Title! Permanently! For the rest of his life!! So why return for another belt? Scott Caine? He held the X Division Title! Arachne? The World Tag-Team Titles! Steve Wilson? The Intercontinental Heavyweight Title!! These guys have all had their moments in the sun... so why are they back? Why can't they just let the rest of us have our moment?? Why are they all so greedy?? *Shaking his head, Vaughn, reaches down and gets the hamburger back up. He unwraps the top of the foil, as the birds, sensing the new addition, begin to inch closer.* Peter Vaughn: Some of us haven't GOTTEN to win titles in the GCWA, you know? Guys like Desayuno... Styles... Vegas... and then, I mean, Xtreme just won his belt, so wouldn't you think he wouldn't have to risk it so soon? Men like me deserve our chance in the sun, too. But all of you former champions had to come back. Well, fine! The Janitor is ready for all of you! Because I'm a champion, too!! Maybe not GCWA... and maybe it doesn't mean much here... but I was a champ, and I'm still a champ in my heart!! So bring all your numbers... *The seagulls are getting closer and closer...* Peter Vaughn: Go ahead and surround me... *There are some on the left, some on the right...* Peter Vaughn: You bring everything you've got... *Three of them take flight, hovering overhead...* Peter Vaughn: But the Janitor's going to be ready... and I'm going to win myself a Hardcore ChampionshAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *The seagulls are swooping in from all directions, trying to get their share of the burger and fries that were just sitting there, for the taking. Vaughn instinctively picks them up and tries to run away, holding them close to his body. This is a mistake, as the birds are just following the food. Vaughn continues to scream as he runs down the street, the birds zooming all around him. People can be seen on the other side of the road, laughing, as the Janitor disappears into the distance. The birds can still be heard, squawking, as the picture starts to fade out.*
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